[Announcer] Welcome to News Tonight, here's your favorite host!! [Talon] Welcome dear viewer. Today the major of our local city opened up the renewed city center's building spot after the shoplifter, or should I say choplifter struck and emptied out the city center. Chaniqua is as always at the scene. Chaniqua, my delicous chocolate praline delight, are you there? [Chaniqua] Yes I'm here you white chocolate bonbon filled with milky way cream and coconut sprinkles on top. [Announcer] Hey, are you two actually dating or something? [Talon] What no, where the hell would you get that idea from? [Chaniqua] Hell no, where would you get that idea from mr. Announcer person. [Announcer] Well, sometimes it seems you two are just putting up a show! [Talon] Us putting up a show? [Chaniqua] How dare you, we're trying to bring people the news here! Anyway, I'm standing here with Mr. Pretzel, the major of our local town and he has prepared a statement. [Major Pretzel] Hi, citizens of our local city and surrounding villages. Let me be the first to congratulate you all on paying your taxes which makes the rebuilding of our city centre possible. Within the next five months we will be building a state of the art shopping centre that will fill all your needs, and by that I mean all your needs. [Chaniqua] You mean hookers don't you? [Major Pretzel] They like to be called physical labor employees Chaniqua so that is what I'm going to call them. [Talon] There you have it people, new shopping mall being built in our city centre. And as a long time host of News Today and News Tonight I would like to thank the Choplifter for not lifting the news station I'm currently at. After the commercials a breakdown of all the new shops and a tour of the area being built with our major Mr. Pretzel...
[Announcer] Don't you just love the smell of napalm in the morning, well we here at Local Army Surplus do and are selling left over napalm for a reasonable price. Use Coupon Code NAM25 for an additional 25% off!!!
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